Notice: Sorry, I am Joining Tata Group

Mr. Ratan N TATA

Chairman & Managing Director

Tata Group

Kolkatta

Sub: Application for the Post of Chief Executive Officer

Hon’ble Sir,

This is in reference to your recent interviews in Media that you wish to retire and looking for a suitable candidate for the post of CEO for Tata Group. I wanted to share with you that there are only 02 candidates in the country who can fulfil the requirement of the post; Of course first one is ‘ME’ and there is one more ( I will speak about him too briefly which will give you an idea how I am the first).

Sir, you and I share the similar dreams about India. Though my dream for India is widely known but there may be some doubts on your dreams for India, nevertheless only a CEO like me (though ‘Deputy’one) can understand that you also have good dreams which is evident by the creation of ‘NANO’. (Yes Sir, I am currently Deputy CEO and my next step will only be to be a CEO and that’s why here I am with my application). I am writing this application from My Big Guest House in Mumbai which is very close to a busy road and I Can watch people standing at the Bus Stop who are either waiting for a Bus or an AUTO. Its raining heavily in Mumbai Sir, and I can see the DISCOMFORT of these people, however, you have tried to eliminate it by your magic creation. Actually here you went wrong Sir, Indians don’t like Comfort which you interpreted wrongly; Indians don’t buy Car for comfort but they have other desires & expectation from the car which I will certainly explain in my next para for your better understanding. You must be thinking why I wrote AUTO in capital letters. Sir, Actually Most of Indians compare NANO with the AUTO including some CEOs and it was evident when My CEO called NANO as a ‘filthy Auto’ ( Yes Sir, You did not like this, Neither I. They have hurt your sentiments and mine too by doing so. You can see that even the CEOs of big Groups like my CEO do not understand your dreams which proves that I am the next & only eligible candidate for your post). Sir, have you ever travelled in an Auto or a Bus, if not, I want to tell you that Auto creates lot of noise that you can not listen your own voice while talking to someone over phone or any other way. Also Sir, Auto does not have an AC and for this, these Indians got a very nice explanation that they believe in Natural AC (the air and rain with dust hitting them hard is their AC. I know Sir, It’s a Discomfort. But what to do, I told you that Indians like Discomfort with dignity). Sir, one more thing the Auto is not fully covered which sometime can be dangerous especially when you are travelling with your family and kids and if they try to take a nap in the Auto it can be fatal for them ( But Sir, this is another behaviour of Indians that they love Adventures which you did not consider while launching NANO). Though Sir, some Auto have got music System these days just like Your NANO but I am figuring out how it will be beneficial because when you cannot listen to your own voice then how you can enjoy the music in Auto. (So far, You must be thrilled with my knowledge & experience of ground level. And that is why Sir, I told you that I am the only Candidate for the Post of CEO in your group)

Sir, I also wanted to share with you that Indians have got a Thankless and Show Off attitude that’s why they will never appreciate your intention of creating NANO. Most of the Indians think that by creating NANO you have tried to insult them as they believe that they should only own a Big & Luxury Car ( Sir, please don’t take me wrong, I am not saying that Nano is not a big or luxury car). Sir, Indians have a very strange behaviour that they never help their NEIGHBOURS, colleagues, they buy a Big Car to make their Neighbours HAPPY (Though, I and You know that this is not to make neighbours happy, the intention is alltogether different). I will also share with you how Indians invite lot of problems because of this attitude & behaviour (I am sure you must be appreciating my knowledge of Consumer Behaviour, actually I am an expert in Marketing with MBA. This is another reason which made me eligible for the post I applied for).

Sir, there is one GUY in my neighbourhood who bought a new Car which is slightly bigger than Nano ( Sir, Guy means a Boy or male. These days Indian use this terminology for male. Sir Please don’t think that I am doubting your knowledge but I realized that you don't understand Indians & their advancement so I thought of explaining ’Guy’ for your convenience). This Guy has taken an hefty loan to bring this car at home and to show it to his neighbours (including me) & colleagues. Pressure of EMI from Bank is so much so that he was unable to pay the school fees of his children. Even I paid the school fees twice on his request because he did not want to let his EMIs bounce. Sir, You can see that what are the preferences of Indians, even they can compromise with the school fees of their children just to show off with a Big Car. But this did not continue for long Sir, finally EMI bounced (blame it to inflation which affected his household expenditure) and the recovery agent took away his car one day. (Yes Sir, you are disappointed with this behaviour of Bank people, So am I. These bank people will never understand the SENTIMENTS of Indians. But what we can do Sir. You already tried your best to help them which I only can understand). Sir, since the recovery agents of banks are causing these sort of problems for our highly Aspiring Indians, I am planning to open a TATA BANK after I take over from you as CEO. After all You and I will continue serving Indians irrespective of their reactions and behaviours ( It showcases my determination and Vision for India Sir. It again proves that I am the only CEO for Tata Group who got Vision and Determination for India).

With my ground level understanding, marketing Experience, Vision for India and desire to grow from ‘Deputy’ to CEO, you must have realized that I even score higher than you as CEO. Because you have gone grossly wrong in interpreting Indian consumers and launching NANO without a proper positioning. So I don’t think that I should write ‘Sir’ to you in my next explanations of my offering as a potential candidature for the post. I will rather call you by your name ‘Ratan’; I would also not mind if you call me by my name during interview. I know it will be difficult for you now to call me by my name as you must be having inferiority complex after knowing my expertise in the Indian Marketing. But as I told you, I will never mind calling me by my name. My Name is Hariom; Hariom Tyagi. Ratan, this is actually James Bond Style. My name is Bond; James Bond. After all I am also an Indian and would like to show off something which I can never afford.

You must be thinking of another CEO who may be eligible as I wrote in the beginning of the mail. Actually he is Mr. A. Velumani, CEO, ThyroCare. He also got similar dream like you and I have. He believes in making services affordable to Indians. Like You and I, he also does not care about monetary benefits till its helping more and more Indians. He also have a NANO car and have traveled by it ; I have attached the photo of the same (You must be delighted and thinking him of as CEO of TATA GROUP). But Ratan, there is some problem with this Guy. As per him, there are only two types of people; One who can see only Walls and Other one who can see the Door (Analogically Problem and Opportunity). But Ratan, this is the problem with this Guy. A CEO should be able to see Walls and BEYOND WALLS which is actually a Vision which only a good CEO can see. By the Way, I always see beyond walls. Also, he is already a CEO and in case he applied for the post of CEO, it will prove that he is not growth oriented.

Hey Ratan, I also wanted to share with you something OFF THE RECORD. You must be thinking why you are dragged in lot of controversies these days damaging your reputation. Ratan, this is how Indians react when you hurt their sentiments. By Launching NANO with improper understanding of INDIANS you have hurt their sentiments. They will keep dragging you in controversies until you make them realize that NANO is not a Car; Its more than that.

There is more of ME; which you would love to explore through personal interview. You let me know when you would like to meet me so that I accommodate you in my schedule accordingly.

God Bless You.

Keep Dreaming.

With Best Wishes

Hariom Tyagi

P.S.: I am capable of changing the positioning of NANO by comparing it with Mercedes. The punch line could be like; Only Few People in the City can Dare to Have a Nano like Mercedes. After all, the ‘SHOW OFF’ Factor should be captured. Isn’t It?

Also there is an opportunity cost of writing such long candidature for the post. I utilized the official time which was supposed to be used for creating a PPT for a Big Group as I was assigned by my CEO. But again, I prefere dreaming more about Indians than a PPT. As a good CEO, I am sure you will compensate for that time but My CEO would not.